Awakened
by All Vamped Up and Nowhere 2 Go
Summary: Something dies in Bella the night Edward leaves her alone in the woods. With nothing more to live for, she prays for death. Just when she thinks all is lost, someone awakens something in her. Bella will never be the same.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome to my story. I posted this under another pseudonym ages ago, but didn't know what direction I was heading. A year or more later, and I now have a plan, and somewhat of an outline. This little story has been running around my head for a while now, but my fingers have just decided to cooperate and let Bella's story flow. **

**Rated "M" for future lemons, oranges, limes and any other citrus you find palatable. If you are under 18, please discontinue reading unless you are accompanied by a responsible party.**

**Please R&R. ~K~**

Prologue

I always imagined death would be excruciatingly painful. But this was worse, much worse. Hell couldn't hold a flame to the burning that now seared my shattered heart. Every piece of me was broken, nothing left intact. In the beginning I begged for death; anything to extinguish the flames that engulfed my heart. But now I welcomed the inferno that was a constant reminder of him. Every blaze established the fact he was real. For me, he would always exist.

**A/N: Make use of that comment box. Your reviews are like the 7-layer chocolate cake I would so cheat on my husband (and diet) with! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Yada Yada Yada. It's still the same. I don't own the characters, but they SO own me.**

**Rated "M" for mature audiences (if anyone is still reading). 18+ unless accompanied by an adult, and let's face it, you don't want to ask Mommy/Daddy to read this with you. Read responsibly my friends!**

Welcome to Hell

The first few weeks after Edward left are hazy. I don't recall much; however, I do remember my mother visiting, begging me to return to Jacksonville. The thought of leaving Forks was unacceptable. This was the place where I knew his memory would remain. Nothing in this hellhole of a town would allow me to forget him. When Renee insisted, the dispute began. I hadn't spoken since _that_ day, but when the words were released, they were nothing anyone expected.

"Honey, I think it would be best if you came home, to Jacksonville. It would get you away from bad memories," Renee insisted.

_Bad memories? Every memory I have of Ed—of him, are HERE. _

"I am NOT leaving! This is my home. This is where I'm staying!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs. Then the uncontrollable sobbing began. I couldn't fathom leaving Forks. I wouldn't let his memory fade; if that's all I had to hold onto—a memory—then that's what I would do. Hold on for dear life, if you could call this living. I remained in somewhat of a comatose state for several days.

Saturday afternoon, between crying spells, I head Charlie talking on the phone with Renee.

"I'm not sure. She says she won't leave, but she needs to get out of here. She needs to get away from anything that reminds her of that bast—of Edward. She's been in her room since you left last week. I don't know what to do anymore." There was a brief pause before he continued, "The screams are the same; no worse, no better."

I decided then, if I could merely _exist_, I would. My father didn't deserve this. I would try to put my life back together, just enough to convince him I could—should—stay. I would push away all thoughts of—_gulp_—Edward, as long as possible. I could not be held responsible for what happened when I lay down at night, when all the repressed memories flooded my broken, burning heart.

Each night, alone in my room, the horror began. The rocking chair in the corner, the blue sweater hanging in my closet, even the bed I lay in were all just small mementos of the time spent with him. The ghost that haunted me whispered a reminder of everything I'd lost in the woods that day. Closing my eyes only made the images appear; they were much worse than the muted thoughts my conscience mind fabricated. The nightmares were the same; always in the woods, Edward just within my view. I could never reach him, no matter the countless number of times I tried. He would then disappear, leaving me alone in the darkest of places, surround by thirsty eyes. Bloodcurdling screams and heaving sobs would wake me from the pits hell that absorbed my darkest hours.

Charlie's somber sigh filled the house as he hung up the phone. I quietly crossed the hall to the bathroom so as not to disturb him. I needed to make some sort of attempt to convince Charlie. The face staring back in the mirror was unrecognizable. The flames that burned a hole in my heart licked within my dark eyes. Poor Charlie, poor Renee. They had no cause to suffer; I had no reason to put them through this torture. I would mourn in silence. I would burn alone.

**A/N: Push that review button. Push it SO hard!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: If, by chance, you are still reading, then "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU." Characters still belong to SM, but I own this demented imagination. And "you're welcome" for sharing it with you. ;)**

**I've hired Emmett as a bouncer for all forthcoming chapters. Please check your ID with him at the door, and please keep your hands off the merchandise! :-)**

Chapter 2

Falling Apart

I quickly combed through my tangled hair, placing it into a low ponytail at the nape of my neck. I brushed cosmetic powder across my face, trying to conceal my red nose and swollen eyes. I wasn't fooling anyone. I looked exactly like I felt—dead. I was broken and had no clue how to begin picking up the pieces.

My failed attempt to descend the stairs silently took Charlie's attention away from the television. Startled, he looked over his shoulder to the staircase.

"Bella, is everything ok?" he asked cautiously.

No, everything was not okay, but I mustered up my best lie.

"I'm fine Dad." Who was I kidding? I was far from fine, but I would have to deal with that later. Right now, I needed to concentrate on being normal. Well, for now, I would settle for not-so-broken. "Would you like dinner? Maybe Grandma Swan's lasagna?" I asked casually. Dinner should be a safe enough subject. Nothing in the kitchen should send me on an emotional rollercoaster.

"I'm glad you came downstairs. I've missed you," Charlie replied sincerely. My dad was usually a man of very few words. I knew he meant what he said, and frankly, I'd missed him too. "You know you don't have to cook, we can go to the diner if you'd like," he added quietly.

"I don't know if I'm up for the diner just yet, besides I don't mind cooking."

No amount of prodding would get me out of the house tonight. I was already pushing what control I had over my emotions, and going out would only cause me to lose it all over again. Charlie wasn't ready for that just yet, and honestly, neither was I.

I made my way into the kitchen to prepare dinner. When the lasagna was placed in the oven, I joined Charlie in the living room. I sat on the end of the couch closest to his chair and stared at the TV set. I tried to concentrate on the game, but it was all a blur. My mind found itself reliving the moments before he was gone. A few warm tears began to stream silently down my face. I had to find some way to cool the flames for a while; something to silence the cries that yearned to spill forth. I drew my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around knees. I just needed to hold myself together until nightfall. If the pain would slumber until then, I would welcome the nightmares and bloodcurdling screams, but only then.

Absorbed in my thoughts, the unexpected _ding_ from the oven timer startled me. My sudden gasp woke Charlie, who had been dozing in his recliner. He jumped to his feet as I passed his chair. "Huh…What is it!?" he asked, still in a sleep induced stupor.

"It's okay, Dad. The timer just startled me." I made my way into the kitchen and over to the oven, turning it off. I hadn't heard Charlie enter until he was beside me.

"Bells, I really am glad to have you back." He embraced me in an awkward sideways hug. Did Charlie really think I was _back_? How could he be so convinced, when I wasn't so sure myself? I let out a small sigh, not knowing what to say to him. Feeling my uneasiness, Charlie took the oven mitt from my hands.

"Here let me get this," he said opening the oven door.

While Charlie removed the lasagna from the oven, I took a single plate from the cupboard and positioned it in front of Charlie's seat. As I turned to retrieve a spoon from the drawer, Charlie cleared his throat. "Aren't you gonna eat with me, Bells."

"Um…Yeah. Sure, Dad." I was far from hungry, although I honestly couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten. My appetite was lost along with so many other things that day in the woods. The thought of the dark, encroaching forest made me shudder.

_Focus, Bella. Charlie needs you right now. You can fall apart later._

Later. I anticipated "later". Shoving those thoughts from my mind until then, I took another plate from the cupboard and joined Charlie. He shoveled in heaping mouthfuls of lasagna as I pushed my portion around on my plate. Charlie seemed starved; how long had it been since I cooked? Surely, he'd been eating, but from the looks of it, I'd guess not. I wondered how long I'd been out of it, but the thought of trying to calculate back to that forsaken day, petrified me. Again, I shuddered.

_Just another hour or two, and the night is yours._ I didn't know if I was talking to myself, or to the ghost. Whichever didn't matter; the results would be the same.

Dinner was consumed without conversation. I silently cleared the table and started cleaning the kitchen. Charlie proceeded to help, but I shooed him away with excuses of needing to get back to _normal_. I couldn't help laughing to myself at the word. Nothing about me, nor my life, had ever been normal, but there's a first time for everything. Maybe, just maybe, I could find a norm; for now, I just needed to function until graduation. Then I'd be able to leave and choose to continue my charade or completely fall to pieces.

Cleaning didn't take as much time as I'd hoped, leaving me with the better part of an hour before I could retire to my room without suspicion. I crossed the living room, taking my place on the couch next to Charlie again. It seemed I would have to endure another ballgame, but that was much better than having to chat with Charlie. Thankfully, he wasn't one for talking, and I wasn't ready to open up to anyone just yet. Finally, the buzzer sounded, and I took that as my cue to leave the room.

I hurried up the staircase and into the bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I turned on the faucet, filling the tub with as hot of water as was tolerable. The heat radiating from the tub was no comparison to the flames that continued to torture my blazing heart. I slipped out of my clothes, and sank to my nose in the bath, relaxing as the warmth tingled against my skin. Then it started; the salty tears began to flow, just a slow trickle at first, then they came like a rapid torrent. I fought to contain the cries my body ached to scream. Sitting up, I pulled myself into a tight ball; all efforts of holding myself together tonight were in vain.

Edward's beautiful face crept into my mind. His angelic voice softly whispered, "Let go, Bella."

Obeying the voice I loved so much, I released myself and gradually lay back in the tub. The warm water slowly encased my body, then my face, drowning out Charlie's game below. My hair fanned out around me, clouding my vision. I exhaled slowly, bubbles rising to the surface. I closed my eyes and listened to the ghost's relentless whisper. Then everything was silent.

I felt myself slipping further into the abyss of my silent mind. The stillness was beautiful. The fire that once consumed me seemed to be only smoldering ashes now. Comfort. Quiet. Peace.

As I readied myself to draw in my last breath, I prayed Charlie would forgive me. I slowly inhaled through my nose, the scorching of my lungs echoing that of my broken heart. _I'm sorry Dad, _were the last thoughts before everything went blank.

**A/N: I just met you, and I know I'm crazy, but you've read my story, review it maybe?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This is officially the last chapter that has been pre-written. Nothing is beta'd. If you know a beta, or you ARE a beta, and this stinks, please have mercy on my Twilight'd soul and be my beta! Please?**

**Anyway, thanks for still reading. As usual, 18+ only. If you're underage and reading, don't say I didn't warn you. May the wrath of a thousand Jaspers consume your soul. LOL**

**Stephanie Meyer STILL owns these characters, although I have sent her a lengthy in-depth letter requesting full disclosure to a few certain vamps!**

Waking up

The last thing I remembered was breathing in the steaming water from my bath. Now, everything still appeared dark, but I could hear voices. My body wasn't on fire, so I couldn't be in hell—although I had felt afire so often in the past month, I'm not sure I'd notice the flames of hell. And since it was still dark, surely I wasn't in heaven. _Where the hell am I and who is that talking_? I tried to move, but my body wasn't responding. _Wiggle fingers. _Nothing. _Toes?_ Nada. _Head?_ Not hardly.

_Paralyzed in Purgatory,_ I thought to myself. My eyes, the only organ seeming to work, scanned the dark room. A faint light snuck in from my left. Perhaps a door? Maybe a window? I mentally shrugged.

_What good will either do if you can't move?_

**_Well aren't you just the loveliest Debbie Downer?_**

_I'm just being a realist. You should try it sometime. _

I rolled my eyes and seriously thought of giving my inner self the finger.

_Yeah. I'll wait here until you coax your finger into submission._

**_Oh enough already. You're really starting to wear on my nerves._** At that moment my middle finger headed my previous demands and slightly twitched. **_Nah! Suck it Debbie!_**

_I swear, you act more like a child than…_

Before I could finish chastising myself, the light to my left slowly crept further into the room. A door was opening, filtering in light from the adjoining room. It's hinges creaked in protest. Just as my eyes began to adjust to the new found light, a dark shadow appeared on the wall. Chancing a glance at the darkened doorframe, I let out a terrifying shriek.

_Hmmm…guess your voice works._

**_Appears that way. But do you seriously want to discuss the use or non-use of my body at this moment?_**

_Well, Miss-Know-it-All, I was thinking if your mouth worked, maybe the rest of you is beginning to work._

**_And what do you suppose I do then, huh?_**

_I was hoping you might try running! Seems to work in horror movies._

**_While I agree this is looking more and more like a horror movie, I am one, clumsy, and two that's a freaking VAMPIRE!_**

My racing heart took a nose dive to the pit of my stomach. Turmoil rose and crashed against every fiber of my being. My eyes refused to blink, drinking in the figure that stood only feet from me, the light behind him casting an almost angelic radiance around his tall frame. But from the smolder of his crimson eyes, I knew he was anything other than angelic.

Slow agonizing steps brought the man, the _vampire_, closer to me. A slight murmur, almost a faint buzz to my human ears, caused him to pause in the center of the room. There was at least one other vampire here. My odds, as if there ever were any, were slowly dwindling. Warm tears began to stream down my cheek. Fate was an evil bitch and I was about to meet her face to face.

A small, breathy chuckle escaped my lips, causing the vampire in the center of the room to quirk his perfectly sculpted brow in question. That caused an eruption of laughter to burst forth.

_Are you insane? Never mind, I know the answer to that._

**_No, but think about it. Edward left me ALONE in the forest to "protect me from his world". And now I'm going to be eaten by a vampire. Tell me you can't see the humor._**

_Since you put it that way…_

A new wave of giggles made their way through me at my ironic demise. The vampire just stared as if I'd grown another head. When he cocked his head to the side, the light filtered past him revealing an almost reddish mop of hair.

My mirth ceased immediately. My body stiffened as rage rolled like waves through my body, crashing into my soul tearing down every wall I'd built to removed HIM from my mind. I focused on sitting from my prone position, trying to display an air of confidence and determination. I swept all fear under the proverbial rug. Mustering up every ounce of ire that coursed through my veins, I spoke through clenched teeth.

"You can tell Edward to go fuck himself. I'm tired of all this vampire bullshit."

I hopped down from the bed I was in, and swayed a bit before finding my balance. The vampire had yet to move. I took one deep breath, and stubbornly walked past the vampire and into the light.

**A/N: Please review. I'll start some lemonade if you do!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: First I would like to thank all of you who have read my story and those of you who have added it to favorites, or are simply following. **

**On another note, this story has NOT taken form like I had originally planned. This chapter is all Jasper, and let me tell you, when he starts talking, you do NOT interrupt him. If it sucks eggs, I encourage you to take it up with Jasper. But I will warn you, he's not the pansy vampire Stephanie created.**

**This story is still rated M, and Emmett is still the bouncer. Slip a $5 in the waist of those low rise fitted jeans he's wearing as you pass through the door. He (and I) would greatly appreciate it ;)**

**Story still belongs to SM, but I do own two tickets to Friday's showing of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2!**

Chapter 5

**Suffer**

**(JPOV)**

Emotions of six other vampires and one lowly human flooded my system. Was it not enough I had to fight my own natural urges to drain the mousy girl in front of me?

ANGER.

FEAR.

THIRST.

PAIN.

DISAPPOINTMENT.

BURNING.

DEFEAT.

ANGUISH.

It all hit me in a matter of seconds. For steel arms locked around me, pulling from the room. My vision was red, as I stared down my prey. Blood pooled around her, as the fire licked the back of my throat. _One taste, _I thought to my self. Yes, just one taste and I would be sated.

A growl emanated from deep within Edward at my thoughts. The corner of my mouth pulled into a smirk. _Think of how good she would tast_e, I taunted him. _That sweet amber nectar sliding down your throat, quenching the burn you feel. You know you feel that Edward. You want her! But she's mine. MINE!_

I welcomed Edward's emotions as they flowed through me, and lunged I from the arms that held tightly to me. Years of military training prepared me for Edward's attack, and I easily dodged him. Her blood was meant for me; I could feel it in my toes. Any prior "slips" in my diet were nothing compared to what this would be. No, this would far outweigh the past 60 years of diluted, foul tasting animal blood. This would be pure, unadulterated, sinless human blood. She would be the death of me, but I would gladly burn for a single drop.

With another dodge to Carlisle, I had Bella in my arms. They wouldn't try to attack me now; doing so would be a death sentence—to them and to Bella. I was too far gone. The monster had been released and he would NOT be caged until he had what was his. _MINE!_

Cradling Bella in my arms, I turned to look the vampires before me, each poised for attack. One bite—that's all I would be allowed before Edward made his move. Inhaling her scent deeply, I looked down to Bella. Emotions crashed into me likes waves on a shore.

FEAR.

PAIN.

ACCEPTANCE.

FORGIVENESS.

LOVE.

Blood trickled down her arms, soaking the shirt I was wearing, but I couldn't bring myself to care. This strange creature had hypnotized me and it had nothing to do with her blood. Acceptance? Of me, or her imminent death? Forgiveness? For me, or for Edward for introducing her to this so called life? Love? It was muted, but profound. That one _must_ be for Edward.

Without a word, I gently placed Bella on the floor before me. In one quick movement, I was running through the back door toward the woods behind the house. For miles I ran, destroying anything in my path. Emmett would definitely be on damage control. I managed to sloppily take down two bucks and a bear before stopping. Throwing myself to the ground, I wailed in agony. What had I done? Was this fate issuing me a cruel end? Had karma finally caught up with my for my violent path?

Question after question spun through my head, but one thing stuck out at me—Bella's emotions. They were nothing like past victims. Sure, the fear was there, but it wasn't prominent. There was definitely something wrong with a girl who hung out with vampires, met alone with a sadistic killer in a deserted ballet studio, and could accept her death, forgive her killer, and end her life with love.

Shaking my head violently, I tried to clear my head of her. This would be my undoing. I couldn't go back, they wouldn't allow it. Alice? Oh, my Alice! Tearless sobs racked my body causing me to tremble. My dead stone of a heart shattered; I vomited violently on the ground. My world was turned upside down by a paper cut. _A fucking paper cut._

A cracking twig caused alerted me to her presence. Snapping out of my self loathe, I looked up and found the eyes of my lover.

My Alice.


End file.
